New questions
At aikido this morning, after a few days away; yes, I really did have a flat tire on one of those days!
But I was back today, sitting with Kimo to meditate beforehand for half an hour, a precious custom we’ve been trying for a year or so now. Then, after our sitting, Kimo was leading practice and I felt really invigorated about being on the mat, falling, getting up, falling and getting up again.
After a while I realized that the invigoration wasn’t going to last the whole hour, but I kept falling and getting up anyway. A tiredness was definitely there, sort of surprising after the invigoration, and I really wanted to deny it. Something in my body must have given me away, and Kimo, with whom I was practicing, asked me if I was okay. I said oh yes and went on but afterward had to ask myself if at my age (I’m in my 80s) maybe I didn’t have to do back falls all the time. There is so much of that, endlessly in aikido, even though all the subtle things about blending and joining happen before that. Already I don’t always roll (the aikido version of the somersault), although it feels good for a few times, and rolls are so exciting that I don’t like to give them up completely. But all this is something to consider. Aikido is so much about my life and staying awake to all the challenges of the present moment that I may have to swallow my pride and give up some of the falls in order to experience all the other good stuff.
